Most Embarrasing Birthday Gift

Hi, Doc Music here and i'm here to ask you...What's the most embarrasing, wacky, unusual and just plain stupid gift you've ever gotten for your birthday or christmas? I'll tell you what mine is. Last year Zara who is a school friend of mine gave me the most embarrasing gift ever- it was one of the girly beauty kits with perfume and stuff in it. It was disgusting, utterly disgusting. I didn't know what to think, but I think that she must have been pretty stupid to give me a gift like that. I mean, who wants to look like a hooker and smell like a fruit salad anyway? I sure don't. And between you and me- I don't even wear perfume or makeup for that matter. I'm happy just the way I am thank you very much and do not need makeup. And besides I don't think I even want to wear that kind of girly makeup anyway because I fear that it would make me look like that gold-digging hammy snobbish cold hearted reptile the late Anna Nicole Smith (who I hated immensly, on a humourous side note, once I when was watching her loathesome show on E! I said that I hated her soooooo much and that I hoped that she'd drop dead oneday. On Februrary the 7th 2007 she actually DID pass away and my prayers (as well as my dad's and everyone's elses) were answered. I was so happy that she kicked the bucket, it served her right. I do not need makeup, I am happy with the way I look and there's nothing that can change that. So I returned the embarrasing gift back to Zara who then got offended for no apparent reason and said that she'd never give me another gift again (Apparently it's returning a gift you don't want back to the person who gave it in the first place is "rude") but I don't care about Zara or that stupid gift of hers at all- in fact she gave it to another undeserving sap- her "friend" Sally (who is a rather aggressive, thuggish brute of a girl with anger management issues and a face only a mother could love- I mean she's so ugly she makes Frankenstein look pretty by comparison). And then there's Zara herself- she looks like something that crawled out from the depts of uncanny valley and not to mention shes' a total moron. I quit school earlier this year and i'm glad. Now I can spend more time on my "projects". Now that i've turned you what my most embarrasing gift was....what's yours?